The Mystery is Solved

So there's been a little secret that I have been hiding from my facebook and blogspot fan club. The week we got Turner home, my wedding ring went missing. Imagine, if you will, the first week home with your first child. The sleep was waning, I was trying to get the house back in order and Julie asked me to go out to Target for some last minute baby things. When I got back, I noticed my ring was nowhere to be found. What had I done that day? A few loads of laundry, washed dishes and breast pump accessories, taken out the garbage,cooked breakfast, and changed a gazillion diapers. Over the next two days, I ripped apart the closet, checked the drawers of the refrigerator, examined the dishwasher as well as every other major appliance. I surveyed the bathroom vanity ... each vanity in the house. I dug through the pantry and went through every baby drawer. I decided before Waste Management came that I had to go dumpster diving just to satisfy my nagging suspicion that this little ring that meant so much had not been discarded in the trash.

With latex gloves and a garden mask, I began the tedious task of searching through the first week back home's trash load. I was meticulous. I would open one bag and transfer the contents a handful at a time to a newer bag. Banana peels and strawberry tops, half eaten sandwiches hastily discarded with the whimper of a hungry little man calling, a milk carton, old eggs and many things that I could not even begin to distinguish. Nothing. Not a glimmer of white gold. I then turned my attention to the blue cellophane sheaths of tiny triangular atomic bombs. Anyone that has a had a baby in the last few years would recognize the sight anywhere ... the unmistakable log of trash from the Diaper Genie (Thanks, Brooke ... we love it). I carefully skimmed through each of a half dozen bags. Each bag must have contained thirty diapers. Some perfectly folded like paper footballs (my handiwork) others loosely enclosed with spillage (Julie's work). There is nothing like the scent of week old baby poo that has been in a garage in in July. I carefully mashed each diaper hoping to feel a hard lump. With each bag down, a little more discouraged I became. Finally the last bag. If this were a sitcom, the ring would be neatly tucked away in the final diaper. Not so. I had excavated, separated, aerated, and humiliated myself in a completely full curby from Waste Management to find absolutely nothing.

For two weeks, I have gone to work daily without the benefit of a wedding ring. With every few minutes of down time, I would retrace my steps and chores that day and look again in every spot I could think of, but still nothing. So when Julie said she had a surprise last night when I called to say I was leaving the City Council meeting, the ring was the last thing on my mind. I walked in and she said I had to see how cute Turner looked. There as he peacefully slept in the bassinet tray of his pack-n-play was my ring neatly placed on his little belly. It had, as Julie discovered, fallen off my finger in the last place I would have ever looked. I have lost about twenty pounds in the past six months and the ring had gotten a little loose. So that fateful morning when I had been putting away laundry, the ring had come off in her underwear drawer. The mystery was solved and now the world will know I am a married man just by casually glancing at my left hand.

In other news, since I've bored you to death with that story, Turner is officially one-month old this past Sunday. He is such a cutie! Julie will be going back to work to do her pre-planning and get her classroom ready for the sub that will start for her next week. I'm taking this traditionally slow week at work as an opportunity to be a stay at home dad. It will surely be an adventure!

As the days pass ...

It is so hard to believe that Turner is over three weeks old. I cannot remember life without him. I've see so many great things over the past few weeks and I have fallen more in love with Julie through this whole journey. It was so hard going back to work, but I really enjoy seeing them both when I get home. In the last couple of weeks, I've stuck my finger in poo, I've been wet, I've tried to change diapers without the aid of glasses or contacts in the middle of the night. I have learned to forget about the remains of spit up on my t-shirt as the day goes by. I never thought I could get used to those things, but I realize that they are just small parts of the joys that come with parenthood. On the flip side, I've had the joy of calming this boy in times of tears to soar through the skies of dreamland. I have enjoyed the chance to see smiles during naps (gas, I know), to see my wife becaome the mother I always hoped she would be, and to see this baby begin understanding the small sights around his sheltered world.

It is with great sadness that I have seen him outgrow the outfit above. I'd love to keep him as tiny as he was when I first met him. I'd love to swaddle him and rock him in my arms. It is with sadness that I see him grow, but with joy that I know he has so much ahead of him. I can't wait to see more of his personality, to hear him say "Mommy" and "Daddy," and more importantly for him to recognize that he is a gift of God and he has a purpose created that goes beyond all of my dreams. I'm really enjoying to see Turner grow as the days pass.

Tummy time is the best ...

We've just finished our second full week of parenthood and I must confess that it is so much more emotional than I expected. From the very moment I saw my son, I loved him with my whole heart and cannot imagine life without him. It is such a very different kind of love than I feel for my wife and for my parents and for God. I understand now how parents can love their children regardless of the mistakes they make. I am sure that there will be plenty of times in the coming years that I will question why Turner did something, why he might disobey or make a decision that I consider stupid ... but he is a boy and I know this will come! But no matter what he does or what he becomes, I hope he will always know that I love him.

So there is my philosophical side ... now to the fun stuff.

Turner is all boy. He has used his maleness to christen the changing table, wall next to the changing table, and his parents to date. I think he is just making it known that the nursery is his room. We went Friday for our two-week check up. This time, no tinkling on the scale! Turns out he's gained a full pound above his birth weight and we can now let him sleep longer at night ... a blessing for us, too. Julie has gotten into the routine of feeding ... even though I wonder if they both don't fall asleep during the process at times :) I am master launderer, bottle cleaner and formula mixer. I also do a pretty good job of swaddling.

I have taken the liberty to try a few new clothing items on Turner. At first, Julie and I stuck with t-shirts. I think her reasoning was the occasional spit up and the ability to change quickly. I know feel more comfortable in knowing that his head won't just fall off during the dressing process. Julie and I have both taken up habits. I had given up my daily pot of coffee when Julie was pregnant, because she didn't like the smell. I'm back on that routine finding the fix keeps me going during the day. Julie is working on three packs a week of her fix. It's definitely expensive supporting that habit. It's not tobacco ... Marlboro has nothing on Lorna Doones. She got addicted to the buttery cookies while nursing in the hospital and I think she believes that if she doesn't have them now her milk won't continue to come in. (I love you baby!)

We do occasionally fight, but over much different things than when it was just the two of us. Now we fight about who holds the baby during tummy time. Dr. Green said that it is good to have the baby sleep on his tummy on us occasionally during the day to keep the back of his head from being flat. I must say that a nap for me during tummy time is the absolute most peaceful sleep I've ever had! Julie feels the same ... so we argue over that.

God has been so good to us. He has given me much more than I could ever deserve. I look at this little gift and know that God loves me in spite of my failures, my shortcomings, and my own agendas. God gave me this little man, not because I can teach him so much, but I can learn more about myself and my responsibilities from him and HIM. Sometimes I wonder if God is waiting for us to have tummy time with Him? I wonder if He is waiting for us to get weary of our own exploring and crawl up to His bosom for rest? I wonder if He rests better when we are snuggled with Him heartbeat to heartbeat. For me tummy time is the best and I hope to do more of it.

Observations from my first week as a father ...

My first week as a dad is officially coming to an end at 2:59 a.m. Friday morning. It's hard to believe the first week is already over. It seemed like the nine months waiting for Turner to get here took so long and now that he is here, time has been flying by. Over the past week, I have been provided valuable insight into the skills and tools needed to be a father. From experience now, I feel confidence in creating this list of important observations from week one that all new fathers-to-be should know going into the delivery room and arriving back home after birth.

1. Never tell the truth about the number of pushes remaining. Your wife will be in a lot of pain and there is no need to make the process worse. Julie asked a number of times and I always said just a few more. The fact of the matter is you won't know and she won't remember if you lie while she's pushing.

2. Utilize the nursery in the hospital during the nights. These people are professionals at keeping babies calm, fed, changed, and content. You should use this resource to get good sleep. These people do not come home with you and you cannot hide them in your belongings as you do the diapers, blankets, pacifiers, and little squirt bottle your wife will use for the next week to assure her maternal wounds get clean after potty breaks (also something not mentioned in the books). The nursery can mean up to three consecutive hours of sleep, more if your wife isn't breast feeding. You don't see that much consecutive sleep again for a while.

3. Don't eat at McDonald's for a month before the baby comes. This doesn't apply to everyone, but if you plan to have the baby delivered at Northside Hospital Atlanta ... take heed. The cafeteria is lovely and a little pricey. It doesn't have great hours and weekend nights it is closed. I believe that between Wednesday night and Sunday night I had McDonald's at least five times. I'm not saying I don't occasionally enjoy the golden arches as a last choice in a hectic day, but my intestines will need several months to recover.

4. Start a pot of coffee as soon as you get home from the hospital. Turner is a perfect gentleman and sleeps well ... just not long. If you are like us, you'll easily change fifteen or more diapers a day, plus eight to ten feedings and they don't always coincide. You will need the coffee to supplement your exhaustion by at least the second day home. Take naps during the day and enjoy being up at night ... remember you used to love doing that in college :)

5. Pack extra clothes for the baby's first doctors appointment. The diaper bag is very important. It can't be too small ... explain to your wife that a bigger bag allows for more space for a monogram or embroidery. You will need to pack as if the child is leaving for a week. Always have at least three outfits, a couple blankets and a big stack of diapers and wipes. At the doctor's office, they will want to weigh the baby, naked on the scale for an accurate weight. Cold surfaces and baby boy tinklers lead to a fantastic and embarrassing water show. We experienced this show twice on the first visit.

6. Buy a push present. You'll be thinking that this is a scam and it probably is. You'll overhear your wife talking with a certain relative ... most likely a close sister ... about the "push present." If she doesn't bring it up, get one anyways ... you'll look like a super hero. It needn't be terribly expensive. I suggest a small jewelry charm in a well wrapped box or gift bag before you enter the delivery room (if possible). After you see what your wife's body goes through it will have been well worth the sacrifice of a really good lunch out with your co-workers.

7. Take a few days off to be with family. This has been the most remarkable week of my life. I've grown so much closer to my wife and have fallen in love with a little boy that can't even speak to me or see my face clearly. I think fatherhood reveals the sacrifice of the last generation, the responsibilities of present generation and the hope for the future generation. You can work forever. Take at least a week off to enjoy this experience.

Etc.... It didn't really fit the list above, but during your first week, you'll gain a bigger appreciation for the diaper genie, bottle brushes, the smell of dreft detergent, baby monitors for communication and swaddling.

Fatherhood is a blast, especially after living it for a week.