My first week as a dad is officially coming to an end at 2:59 a.m. Friday morning. It's hard to believe the first week is already over. It seemed like the nine months waiting for Turner to get here took so long and now that he is here, time has been flying by. Over the past week, I have been provided valuable insight into the skills and tools needed to be a father. From experience now, I feel confidence in creating this list of important observations from week one that all new fathers-to-be should know going into the delivery room and arriving back home after birth.
1. Never tell the truth about the number of pushes remaining. Your wife will be in a lot of pain and there is no need to make the process worse. Julie asked a number of times and I always said just a few more. The fact of the matter is you won't know and she won't remember if you lie while she's pushing.
2. Utilize the nursery in the hospital during the nights. These people are professionals at keeping babies calm, fed, changed, and content. You should use this resource to get good sleep. These people do not come home with you and you cannot hide them in your belongings as you do the diapers, blankets, pacifiers, and little squirt bottle your wife will use for the next week to assure her maternal wounds get clean after potty breaks (also something not mentioned in the books). The nursery can mean up to three consecutive hours of sleep, more if your wife isn't breast feeding. You don't see that much consecutive sleep again for a while.
3. Don't eat at McDonald's for a month before the baby comes. This doesn't apply to everyone, but if you plan to have the baby delivered at Northside Hospital Atlanta ... take heed. The cafeteria is lovely and a little pricey. It doesn't have great hours and weekend nights it is closed. I believe that between Wednesday night and Sunday night I had McDonald's at least five times. I'm not saying I don't occasionally enjoy the golden arches as a last choice in a hectic day, but my intestines will need several months to recover.
4. Start a pot of coffee as soon as you get home from the hospital. Turner is a perfect gentleman and sleeps well ... just not long. If you are like us, you'll easily change fifteen or more diapers a day, plus eight to ten feedings and they don't always coincide. You will need the coffee to supplement your exhaustion by at least the second day home. Take naps during the day and enjoy being up at night ... remember you used to love doing that in college :)
5. Pack extra clothes for the baby's first doctors appointment. The diaper bag is very important. It can't be too small ... explain to your wife that a bigger bag allows for more space for a monogram or embroidery. You will need to pack as if the child is leaving for a week. Always have at least three outfits, a couple blankets and a big stack of diapers and wipes. At the doctor's office, they will want to weigh the baby, naked on the scale for an accurate weight. Cold surfaces and baby boy tinklers lead to a fantastic and embarrassing water show. We experienced this show twice on the first visit.
6. Buy a push present. You'll be thinking that this is a scam and it probably is. You'll overhear your wife talking with a certain relative ... most likely a close sister ... about the "push present." If she doesn't bring it up, get one anyways ... you'll look like a super hero. It needn't be terribly expensive. I suggest a small jewelry charm in a well wrapped box or gift bag before you enter the delivery room (if possible). After you see what your wife's body goes through it will have been well worth the sacrifice of a really good lunch out with your co-workers.
7. Take a few days off to be with family. This has been the most remarkable week of my life. I've grown so much closer to my wife and have fallen in love with a little boy that can't even speak to me or see my face clearly. I think fatherhood reveals the sacrifice of the last generation, the responsibilities of present generation and the hope for the future generation. You can work forever. Take at least a week off to enjoy this experience.
Etc.... It didn't really fit the list above, but during your first week, you'll gain a bigger appreciation for the diaper genie, bottle brushes, the smell of dreft detergent, baby monitors for communication and swaddling.
Fatherhood is a blast, especially after living it for a week.
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