We've just finished our second full week of parenthood and I must confess that it is so much more emotional than I expected. From the very moment I saw my son, I loved him with my whole heart and cannot imagine life without him. It is such a very different kind of love than I feel for my wife and for my parents and for God. I understand now how parents can love their children regardless of the mistakes they make. I am sure that there will be plenty of times in the coming years that I will question why Turner did something, why he might disobey or make a decision that I consider stupid ... but he is a boy and I know this will come! But no matter what he does or what he becomes, I hope he will always know that I love him.
So there is my philosophical side ... now to the fun stuff.
Turner is all boy. He has used his maleness to christen the changing table, wall next to the changing table, and his parents to date. I think he is just making it known that the nursery is his room. We went Friday for our two-week check up. This time, no tinkling on the scale! Turns out he's gained a full pound above his birth weight and we can now let him sleep longer at night ... a blessing for us, too. Julie has gotten into the routine of feeding ... even though I wonder if they both don't fall asleep during the process at times :) I am master launderer, bottle cleaner and formula mixer. I also do a pretty good job of swaddling.
I have taken the liberty to try a few new clothing items on Turner. At first, Julie and I stuck with t-shirts. I think her reasoning was the occasional spit up and the ability to change quickly. I know feel more comfortable in knowing that his head won't just fall off during the dressing process. Julie and I have both taken up habits. I had given up my daily pot of coffee when Julie was pregnant, because she didn't like the smell. I'm back on that routine finding the fix keeps me going during the day. Julie is working on three packs a week of her fix. It's definitely expensive supporting that habit. It's not tobacco ... Marlboro has nothing on Lorna Doones. She got addicted to the buttery cookies while nursing in the hospital and I think she believes that if she doesn't have them now her milk won't continue to come in. (I love you baby!)
We do occasionally fight, but over much different things than when it was just the two of us. Now we fight about who holds the baby during tummy time. Dr. Green said that it is good to have the baby sleep on his tummy on us occasionally during the day to keep the back of his head from being flat. I must say that a nap for me during tummy time is the absolute most peaceful sleep I've ever had! Julie feels the same ... so we argue over that.
God has been so good to us. He has given me much more than I could ever deserve. I look at this little gift and know that God loves me in spite of my failures, my shortcomings, and my own agendas. God gave me this little man, not because I can teach him so much, but I can learn more about myself and my responsibilities from him and HIM. Sometimes I wonder if God is waiting for us to have tummy time with Him? I wonder if He is waiting for us to get weary of our own exploring and crawl up to His bosom for rest? I wonder if He rests better when we are snuggled with Him heartbeat to heartbeat. For me tummy time is the best and I hope to do more of it.
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